Hiding

Today, May 15th, is MPS Awareness Day.

Ever since Cooper was diagnosed with MPS IVA , this is a day I’d advertise on social media, at school, at the hospital. I’d ask friends and family to wear purple and post photos of all the purple. We did “Planks for MPS”, an ice bucket challenge, I jumped in a pool while wearing a dress. We’ve made boats and paper airplanes. Mom has made cookies for Cooper to share at school. Teachers have gone out of their way to recognize the day and wrap Cooper in support.

The day is a repeating appointment in my calendar. It’s there every year. I knew it was coming. Did I do anything? Plan anything? No. I’m wearing a purple shirt only because it’s one of my favorite workout shirts.

I don’t know if I’m hiding or fighting back. I don’t want Cooper and I to be defined by MPS anymore. It defines us enough. It has a grip on us – weekly infusions, yearly surgeries, what seems like a million extra appointments. Constant heartache as we navigate our son’s life with never ending challenges.

Every fifth grader at Cooper’s school gets to do a Ted Talk. the first line of Coopers talk is “ It’s hard being a 3 foot tall 5th grader” watch the rest of it here:

It’s hard being a 3 foot tall 5th grader

So it appears this is my MPS Awareness Day campaign. MPS sucks. Lift those affected by MPS and all rare diseases with your support. Your humor, shoulders to cry on, special moments of joy. Donate to research and support causes (Rooting for Robert or MPS Society) if you want and can. Pray for grace, peace and patience for the families.

I’m not donning the purple this year. I need to change out of this purple workout shirt and get to Cooper’s school. He has rehearsal for the talent show in 35 minutes, and I’m going to put my energy into that (and moving his 8 piece drum set upstairs, to the car and into school).

Overwhelm

When I feel overwhelmed, I just want to shut down. Can’t keep my eyes open. Its hard to breathe deep and I want to hide in my bed. This feeling scares me, because my usual response to stress is to jump into action. But not with overwhelm. We are only 10 days into this crazy month. The end of May means the end of school, end of Campbell’s hockey, many less commitments, projects, appointments and activities. Perhaps being overwhelmed this early is going to give me perspective for the rest of the month.

I’m fine. Everything is fine. Just sharing with y’all, because I know some of us are in the same boat. I’m here with a life vest, and an afternoon caffeinated beverage.