I got away this week. 2 nights, beachfront condo – just me and my thoughts. Solo walks on the beach. Sleeping in (WHY AM I AWAKE AT 6 AM??) I am blessed to have this opportunity.

Northern California beach – unforgiving onshore breeze, not much sun, not hot, adjacent to the Monterey protected area so there are dark sky requirements and it’s QUIET. Perfect.

I am not a fan of being IN the ocean. I really to like to by near it, hear it and watch it. This week I was enthralled by the birds. I LOVE THE SANDERLINGS!! They run back and forth and back and forth chasing the waves out to peck in the sand after the water is gone only to run away when the wave comes back. They are always in a flock of many birds, are always moving. They are cute. Their legs move so fast, it’s comical.

There are bigger birds, with long beaks. I think they are sandpipers. They don’t run around like the sanderlings. They have long legs and don’t mind the ocean washing over their feet. I saw a sandpiper with only one leg. He hopped around when he didn’t fly. I admire him – one of the guys, doing the same thing, just looking and operating a little different.

There are a few gulls, and then the big, majestic yet awkward pelicans. When I see them flying up the coast in formation, I hear low flying war airplane sounds in my head.

They are on a mission. They have very little wasted movement. And they are so far up in the sky, they see everything – almost all-knowing.

As I watched the Sanderlings, I couldn’t help but compare myself to them. Driving back and forth, multitasking, doing all the parts of life, back and forth. Sticking my nose in everywhere. Flying to a new location (new stage of life) and doing the same thing all over again – back and forth, back and forth, sticking my nose in new sand. Always moving.

Do I have a choice of which type of bird I am? Which one would I like to be? A pelican seems much more peaceful. On my last walk this morning, I saw a dead pelican on the beach. It really shook me. This large bird, all distorted and out of place. Brought me back to the reality that everyone/ everything/ every bird has their own troubles. I’m a Sanderling, constantly in motion. It’s who I am and that’s fine. I can’t change it. I have my troubles, and I’ll keep running back and forth attending to all the things.

On my first walk on the beach this week I noticed a teenager chasing away a gull, a boy playing baseball with his dad and a couple enjoying a walk, hand in hand. It made me miss my family, but I’m happy to spend a few quiet moments to myself to slow down, process and feel gratitude for what waits for me at home.