Out of Body Experience

You know when you are usually the driver and then one day, someone else drives and you get to ride shotgun and watch out the window and see the world from a whole new perspective? That’s where I’m at right now. Riding shotgun, looking at the same landscape through a foreign filter. 

I’m at Children’s Hospital Colorado, sitting in the sports medicine clinic, watching Campbell march through her physical therapy program. Jumping up, over, left, right – one leg and then both legs. All the people here know me as Campbell’s mom. Yet 100 feet to the east, I’m Cooper’s mom. Coop and I have been overnight guests down the hall for sleep studies. 200 feet to the south, I’m again Cooper’s mom. We are here twice a year visiting audiology to adjust his hearing aides. Down one level I’m an infusion mom. Cooper and I checked in at the Center for Cancer and Blood Disorders one day every week for six years. On the first floor, I am the breakfast burrito order in the kitchen and again Cooper’s mom in Radiology. I’ve watched storms roll in from this fabulous viewpoint and taken timelapse videos similar to what you see during the weather update on the local news.  I have a favorite spot in this parking lot, but I am not parked there today, because the handicap permit stays in the car door pocket when I’m here with Campbell. 

I’m beyond grateful for being BOTH moms. It struck me as crazy this morning when I looked around and thought, THIS is what the sports medicine folks know about me – they know Campbell, and her hockey. They don’t know the volumes of medical records, infusions, surgeries and recoveries my other mom role has seen. They don’t know Cooper, his dog Velocity and our rare disease journey. I’m OK with that. The rare disease journey often defines me (and us as a family), so as I looked in on my life from what seemed to be somewhere else, it was hard to believe it was MY life. Sometimes it’s good to be someone else for a while. But just a short while, because this evening it’s back to parenting both kids as it’s High School Freshman orientation night for Cooper!